His Thoughts Alone
by Aerith The Evenstar
Summary: In all honesty he hadn't paid her much mind in the beginning, thinking she'd been just a pretty face he'd find himself glancing at once or twice simply because she was a new presence among them. What Kili didn't know was how she would change his life. This is a recounting of some (if not all) the events that took place in Snow White In Middle Earth, as told from Kili's view.
1. Preface

ATE: Hey everyone! This was the other story I mentioned I'd be writing back in Chapter 19 of Snow White In Middle Earth. It took some time, but I finally managed to come up with a title for this piece, His Thoughts Alone. This story will tell some (if not all) the events from the main story since this is sort of a companion story to SWIME. Enjoy!

Declaimer: I don't of The Hobbit of LOTR. I only own my OCs.

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><p><strong>His Thoughts Alone<strong>

~*~Preface~*~

It's funny how different things were, how much clearer they could be, when looking back in hindsight. Even now he found himself gazing down at the unconscious form of the one that he-that the entire Company, he added—had found on that fateful day when they first started their journey to the Lonely Mountain. Though it hadn't been that long ago since then, it felt like a long time to him.

It was because of the lass he held in his arms that things didn't seem as dark as they could in this world. He never thought that he'd be where he was now, having promised to protect this girl from harm.

Kili never thought that he'd come to care for Silvia.

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><p>ATE: I'm sorry for this post being so short, but I have a very good reason. As this is a preface to this story I wanted it to be short, seeing as it's supposed to serve as an attention getter for readers and I'm hoping that anyone reading this story will be asking for more. That's my reason.<p>

Despite its shortness, what did you all think so far? Leave a review with your thoughts and I'll get back to you at the earliest convenience. ;D


	2. In The Beginning

ATE: Hey everyone! It took awhile for me to finish up this chapter, but I decided that I would finish it up today and this is the result. Big thanks go out to **ro781727 **and **Boston Rider** for their reviews from the previous update on this story. Originally this chapter was going to be the first post of this story, but I was still in the planning phase at the time and ended up typing up what we now know as the Preface of His Thoughts Alone.

Also, I ended up getting the Extended Edition of Desolation of Smaug two days ago and I'm quite happy with it. However, this means I have to go back through my outline and change a few things around and add additional part into it. However, the next chapter for SWIME should be out in a bit after I figure how to start the chapter itself (that always the hardest part for me when it comes to writing XD).

Declaimer: I don't own The Hobbit or LOTR in any way, shape, or form. I only own my OCs.

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><p><span>~*~Chapter 1~*~<span>  
><span>~*~In The Beginning ~*~<span>

In all honesty Kili hadn't paid her much mind in the beginning, thinking she'd been just a pretty face he'd find himself glancing at once or twice simply because she was a new presence among them. She was just an amnesic girl they found in the forest when they first started their journey, completely lost and alone in the world.

True he was curious about her, just like most of the others in the Company, but he tried not to show it. He didn't want to confront her just yet and opted to play the role of an observer for now.

His observations started when he and Fili first found her in the forest.

Kili remembered the state she was in when they found her, how the blood was staining her dress around the areas of one of her legs, shoulder, and around the stomach and how its crimson color was such a contrast to her fair skin. It looked as if she'd been stabbed by a sword, but the hunter in him knew that wasn't the case. His suspicions were confirmed when he managed to get a closer look.

Those weren't stab wounds, nor were they inflicted by a sword. Her dress would've been in worse condition if she had been.

He knelt down near her injured leg and was about to reach out to lift the woman's skirt when Fili stopped him.

"What are you doing?" His older brother hissed.

Looking over his shoulder, Kili could see that he was giving him an incredulous look on his face, as if prepared to scold him should he carry out his next actions.

Luckily Kili's reasons for his actions were justified.

"I'm just checking the wound on her leg." He stated, and seeing the look on Fili's face he knew he had to explain further. "We haven't seen anything like this before. Would you rather I check the one on her stomach or the one on her shoulder?"

"I rather you didn't check any of them, but knowing you, nothing will stop your curiosity until it's sated."

Kili couldn't help but grin at this, knowing it was true.

"Just don't tell mother about this." Kili paused, a thought coming to his mind. "On second thought, don't tell uncle either."

"How about I don't tell anyone about this?" Fili replied.

"Let's go with that."

Kili turned back to the woman's wounded leg and proceeded to lift the skirt back enough so that he could see the injury itself.

What he found wasn't what he expected.

The wound itself looked like it came from that of an arrow, but at the same time it didn't. The hole was larger than that from an arrow piercing the skin, and even if it had come from one the wound looked too neat for an arrow being pulled out. Another thing to support this theory was that the hole itself looked deeper than that from an arrow.

Whatever this woman was shot with, it wasn't from an arrow at all.

"Fili, look at this." He called.

Kili could hear his brother's footsteps approach and upon hearing the sharp intake of breath, he knew that Fili had seen the woman's injured leg.

"What kind of weapon could've done this?" Fili asked.

"I don't know. What I do know is that this wasn't from an arrow, and that's the only thing I can compare this to."

"We need to get Oin."

Getting Oin had been the right call and explaining the reason for the older Dwarf's skills had led to the Company setting up camp prematurely for that day (although it had taken some effort to persuade Thorin into agreeing to help her). A part of him was relieved to hear that the woman would still live after Oin inspected the wounds, but Kili knew that the wounds themselves would baffle him just as much as they did for him. Even from where he sat beside Fili, smoking their pipes as they looked after the ponies, he could hear Oin grumbling from within the cover of the blankets held up by both Ori and Bofur that provided the woman some privacy.

It was strange, he mused, how this mysterious woman had been injured in such a way. He thought his curiosity would be sated once he saw the injury on her leg, but it wasn't. Instead he had more questions than answers. Hopefully when she woke up he would get some answers.

Hours passed when Oin finished his task of tending to the woman and the Dwarves lending a hand could lower the blankets. The woman was left to rest on a bedroll with a blanket pulled up to her chest. Her bloodstained dress was replaced with one of Ori's sweaters, the former being taken to a nearby river to be cleaned. Kili listened as he heard rest of his kin (except for Thorin and Dwalin) talked amongst themselves about the woman, freezing when the topic concerning if she was either of the race of Men or an Elf was brought up. He briefly glanced over in her direction before turning away and he soon understood why some of them were thinking if she were of the latter race.

He'd admit that she was beautiful (it'd be utterly foolish not to), her long black hair as dark as the night itself, skin as white as fallen snow, and her lips slightly red. For someone as pretty as her it baffled him as to how anyone would want to harm her in such a way.

Those thoughts were banished as soon as he spotted his uncle storming over to where the woman rested, an almost dark look on his face, and it was only then did he realize why.

Thorin thought she was an Elf.

It showed on his face as Thorn looked as if he were ready to pull her off the ground forcefully and cast her back into the forest they found her in. It wasn't until Gandalf stood before his uncle that Kili realized he had gotten up from where he'd been sitting just a bit ago.

Why had he gotten up?

What had he planned to do?

He could hear the Wizard telling Thorin that the woman wasn't an Elf and even went as far as to reveal her _round_ ears to prove it. This came as a surprise to all of them, but most of all it left Kili confused and with more questions. She had the appearance of an Elf, yet she was human. How was it possible for a human to even _have_ such an appearance to begin with? Was it even possible?

'_Maybe she's been blessed._' He told himself, trying to rationalize the idea itself as he sat back down. '_That has to be it._'

It wasn't until their meal was being cooked that the woman started to awaken from her unconscious state and soon they were all heading over to where she was. He wasn't the least bit surprised that Oin was telling them to back up a bit to give her some breathing room and not overwhelm her. Her eyes soon opened, but nothing could prepare him for what he saw.

Her eyes were blue, so blue that they were like sapphires.

Even now he watched those same eyes gazed at each and every one of them with the same amount of caution as a doe, and he could only imagine what she was possibly thinking as she took in their appearance. To her, they probably looked like a strange group. She had every right to think that, seeing as their group consisted of 13 Dwarves, a Hobbit, and a Wizard.

"Where am I?" She had finally asked, her voice a soft and gentle sound to the ears. "Who are you all?"

Kili wasn't the least bit surprised when Gandalf took the initiative to introduce himself, along with the rest of the Company as he pointed to each of them individually. As the Wizard said each of their names, the woman's eyes followed as she absorbed everything before she smiled.

And then she gave her name: Silvia. Strangely fitting, given the circumstances of how they found her, and even Gandalf voiced this very thought.

But when the Wizard asked the question that had been on all of their minds ever since they came across her, she became confused, looking so lost, and he felt pity as she wondered why she was in so much pain. It didn't help matters when it turned out she had amnesia and the only thing she could remember was her own name.

The majority of them protested when Thorin stated that they would leave her alone when they left in the morning, he and Fili being two of the many that was against the idea of doing such a thing to this woman, let alone one with amnesia.

Their mother had taught them as such, and if she were here and heard Thorin make such an order, she would give their uncle an earful.

'_And knowing her, she would._' He thought.

Kili glanced over at Silvia to see Bilbo patting her hand in a comforting fashion, and he was glad the Hobbit was trying to help out during this time.

After awhile they quieted down once they had managed to persuade Thorin, and much to everyone's relief Thorin had given Silvia the option to join them, given that she were to contribute to the work by helping in whatever way she could. A thoughtful look appeared on her face, but eventually she agreed to his conditions.

A part of him was glad that she agreed since it would've been better than whatever alternative there was for her current situation.

When they dispersed Kili and Fili went back to where they had been watching the ponies, both of them sitting down. Feeling somewhat bored with his current task he let his eyes roam around the ground, not sure what he was looking for, but searching nonetheless. Eventually his eyes spotted a stick, or more specifically one that came from a branch that had broken off at some point. He picked it up, examining it a bit before breaking a limb from it.

He could probably carve something to get rid of his boredom.

But what? What could he possibly carve out of this stick?

He tried to think of all the things he could make out of it, but so far nothing really came to mind as of yet. Maybe he'd carve something for his mother as something to give to her when they returned to Ered Luin.

"So what do you think?"

Kili blinked before turning to face his brother.

"Think of what?" He asked, feeling confused.

"You know, the _lass_." Fili specified, nodding his head in the direction she was in.

Kili glanced over briefly in time to see Bofur handing her a bowl of soup, the toymaker giving Silvia a warm smile. He didn't spend much time looking at her before turning back to face his brother.

"I don't really have much of an opinion as of yet, Fee." He told him.

"There must be something more in that head of yours than that." Fili teased.

"What do you want me to say? That she'll be a fine addition to the Company despite her amnesia?"

"That could be one thing, I guess. I was looking more along the lines of what you thought of her as a person."

Kili sighed before letting his gaze fall to the stick he held in his hands, giving some thought to Fili's inquiry. What did he think of Silvia, he wondered. After a bit of time he soon realized his answer.

He didn't know what to think about her. She left him with so many questions and so little answers.

"She's an enigma." He answered.

"And?"

"That's all I have for now. We know nothing more about her than she does about herself."

"Well, brother, maybe you should take some time to observe her a bit more during our journey, starting with tomorrow."

Fili had a point and Kili knew he would've done so even if his brother hadn't suggested it. There was something about Silvia that made him curious, so much so that in later days it would end up bugging him.

In the beginning he hadn't paid much mind to Silvia and her presence. What he didn't know was how much his own curiosity for her would change to something more, or the fact that she would end up being more than just an amnesic girl the Company found in the forest when they first started their journey.

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><p>ATE: Well, at least this chapter was longer than the Preface, right? Anyways, a few things I want to point out:<p>

(1) Silvia's gunshot wounds: We all know that if anyone in Middle Earth saw a gunshot wound they would compare it to that inflicted by an arrow. I actually had to google an image of a gunshot wound and an arrow wound separately and compare them side by side as I wrote this part and what I wrote was what I thought when I was comparing the two wounds. The only part I didn't like about googling the images was how gruesome a good amount of the images were as I was searching. It doesn't matter how many times you see such wounds in movies or TV shows, they're nothing compared to the real thing.

(2) Fili and Kili's interaction: I actually thought of my own interactions between me and my older sister and used that as inspiration when I was writing Fili and Kili. And seeing as my older sister (who is 18 months older than I am) and I get along a little more than I do with my little sister (4 years younger) I thought that I'd use that. And if you think about it, by human standards, Fili and Kili would be close in age as they are by Dwarf standards (refer to the chart I created over on DeviantArt under Aerith-The-Evenstar if you want to find out more).

(3) The stick: This is actually the same stick that ends up becoming the piece of wood Kili was carving in Chapter 12 of SWIME. Believe it or not, the bit about Kili contemplating what he'd carve out of the stick has been something I've been trying to figure out myself for the longest time, and I thought it was only fair to convey that feeling in Kili himself. If you have any ideas as to what you think Kili should carve, then by all means, let me know.

So what did you all think? Any questions? Leave them in a review and I'll get back to you at the earliest convenience! ;D


	3. Questions, Questions

ATE: Okay, I'm made at myself for not updating this story in a year. A YEAR! Luckily I started writing for this story again, so expect a few updates from this story while I start planning how I want to go about Chapter 24 of SWIME. I'd like to thank **VG fan1**, and **Eruwaedhiel95 **for their reviews and for anyone still reading His Thoughts Alone.

For those of you that are wondering, not only did I cover the events of Chapter 2 of SWIME in the chapter, but the I covered Chapter 1 of Silvia's Mishaps here as well. I'm sorry for how short it is, but I'm sure you'll all enjoy it!

Declaimer: I don't own The Hobbit or LOTR. I only own my OCs.

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><p><span>~*~Chapter 2~*~<br>~*~Questions, Questions~*~

He was bored.

Bored out of his mind.

Why do you ask?

Because there wasn't anything worthwhile going on at the moment as the Company traveled. He hoped something interesting would happen today, but Kili found himself somewhat skeptical at the idea.

Earlier that morning they had packed up camp and got their ponies ready for the day, and as this occurred Kili had noticed Silvia (fully clothed in her dress) looking around, almost seeming at a loss of what to do and it was at that time that he remembered the conditions she'd agreed to when joining the Company. She'd tried to find something to do, but every time one of the other Dwarves would beat her to it, and it wasn't until Thorin approached her that he explained why this was the case.

Apparently Thorin was being lenient enough to give her a few days to recover from her injuries, and luckily his uncle hadn't missed the fact that she wanted to help out.

And so here he was now, riding near Fili while a few ponies away a sleeping girl rode with Bofur. He remembered how she'd been worried about blocking the toymaker's view, and with the conversation the two had, she learned about the existence of Dwarves, Hobbits, and Wizards, all because of how difference in their heights!

Some time had passed and some songs were sang before it started raining (a little more than a light drizzle, if anything) and Silvia must've woken up since Bofur started talking to her about remembering what rain was. A part of him pitied her for knowing what rain was but not being able to recall the last time she'd felt it, and it made him wonder what else she knew but had no recollection of experiencing.

He'd been skeptical about anything interesting happening that day.

Yet he was proven wrong.

Especially with what happened with Silvia.

When they had stopped for a break (as well as lunch) the girl had been confused at first before deciding to hike up a small hill nearby, and in her excitement she'd slipped on some wet grass before sliding into a puddle of mud. At first they were all concerned about her wellbeing, but they all (excluding Bilbo, who'd made an effort not to) started laughing when Silvia spat out some mud that had been in her mouth and seeing the face she'd made from the aftertaste. She was practically covered from head to toe in mud!

Although, Bofur had warned her to be careful not to slip on the ground.

Oin took it upon himself to approach her before dragging her away from the area they'd set up for lunch, and it was as he was mumbling about 'infection' that Kili remembered that she was still injured, making him feel awful for laughing at her mishap. He'd be lying if he'd claimed a part of him wasn't worried about this fact, and he had a feeling that Oin was taking her someone for her to get cleaned.

It didn't take long for Oin to return to camp, but a good amount of time had passed before Silvia returned clean, but to their surprise her clothes were completely drenched and he could see that she was visibly shivering from the cold.

"My dear, why on earth are your clothes all wet?" Gandalf asked after breaking the silence, concern in his voice.

Kili watched as Silvia blushed, and something about it made him feel strange, but in a good way. There was something about the way the blood rushed to her face that made her seem…real. He couldn't quite understand it, maybe he never would, but he'd hope that someday he could figure out what it meant.

With much coaxing from the others Silvia explained what had happened to her, and they ended up laughing at the thought of her having to chase her dress naked as it was swept down the stream. Her face got redder due to how embarrassed she felt before being dragged away once more by Oin, who carried his pack and two blankets. When the two came back Silvia had the two blankets wrapped around her body in a way that made it look like some strapless dress. As for her soaked outfit, it was placed close to the fire so that it could get dried and it remained there during lunch.

In the end Silvia had to agree with the idea of bathing under supervision in the future. He didn't particularly like the idea of her needing to be supervised, but little did he know what the future would bring after a certain event concerning some Orcs.

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><p>It was later when they set up camp for the approaching night that Silvia (wearing her dress that was fully dry by this point) was woken and dragged behind some trees not far from their location by Oin to have her wounds checked.<p>

Kili assumed the older Dwarf was applying medicine to the wounds to help speed up the healing process, and he wasn't surprised when the two came back and Oin led her to a bedroll to rest. He turned away when he spotted Bilbo going over to her, knowing the Hobbit would do a good job at keeping her company while they worked at their assigned tasks.

Eventually he and Fili had to go away from camp in order to hunt down some meat for dinner, knowing that with the two of them on the job, the task would be completed faster. Suddenly his brother stopped him, and when he was about to voice his question the blonde Dwarf held a finger over his lips, indicating to be quiet before pointing off in the distance. Kili looked in the direction pointed out to him and he couldn't help the grin that appeared on his face when he saw a deer.

It would be enough meat for them to have a good meal!

Slowly and quietly Kili reached back to grab an arrow before notching it into his bow. He took aim, and with skills he'd developed over years of practice with his weapon of choice, managed to shoot down the deer.

It was quiet between the two brothers as they headed back with their prize before Fili spoke.

"So how have your observations gone so far?" He asked.

"Uneventful, to say the least." Kili replied. "I mean, not much has happened today aside from her falling into some mud and having to chase after her dress, and even that isn't enough to really make a good opinion on her. Although I pity her for having amnesia."

There was no way he was going to tell Fili what he felt when he'd seen Silvia blush earlier, even if he didn't understand what it meant.

"Well it's only been one day. There'll be more observing to do tomorrow and the next day after that."

He knew Fili had a point, but really, what was the point in him doing this in the first place? What would he accomplish for observing an amnesic lass?

Nothing.

Or so he thought.

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><p>The next day passed by with nothing eventful happening during their travels, aside from Silvia riding with Balin. Kili could hear their conversation from where he was, and as he listened to her he couldn't help but grin when she admitted to Dwalin scaring her. It was true that Dwalin could be quite intimidating to those that didn't know him well enough, and even Balin found it humorous as well.<p>

But the topic of family didn't escape the dark haired Dwarf's notice, and it made him wonder. Did Silvia have a family that she didn't remember? Was it possible that she was married and had forgotten? He hadn't noticed a wedding band on her left hand, so he thought that unlikely, though he'd need to get a better look the next chance he got.

That night was the second night Silvia had been traveling with the Company, and it was later after dinner that Kili glanced over in her direction that she was watching them from the bedroll she sat on. She wasn't looking in his direction, but he couldn't help but notice how forlorn she looked, as if wishing she could join them around the fire and knew she couldn't because of her injuries still healing. Eventually she went to lay down and he turned away, assuming she went to sleep.

Surprisingly enough, he hoped she'd be well enough to join them tomorrow night, so that he didn't have to see her look so lonely again.

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><p>ATE: I bet a lot of you've noticed how Kili is so far as her character is involved. I deliberately wrote him in such a way that he obviously does think much of Silvia because he doesn't have much of an opinion on her, and yet she's causing him to develop all sorts of questions concerning her. You can only imagine how confused he is. Fortunately, his thoughts on her will change in the next chapter.<p>

Thanks for reading and please remember to review! ;D


	4. Call of Home

ATE: I've finished this up, and a day after I posted the last chapter! I'm getting back into this writing process thing and I'm glad that I completed this chapter since it wouldn't leave me alone since I started working on it last night. I'd like to thank** ro781727 **for their review and anyone still reading. Enjoy this chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own The Hobbit or LOTR. I only own my OCs.

_Through river, root and stone  
>The distant call of home<br>So far yet always with us  
>Inside our hearts and bones<em>

_So soft the call of home_

-Call of Home by Miracle of Sound-

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><p><span>~*~Chapter 3~*~<br>~*~Call of Home~*~

Silvia ended up being paired with Dwalin.

And it was interesting to say the least.

The amnesiac lass was so quiet and looked quite tense as she rode with the older Dwarf, and he didn't even have to see her face to know that she was too scared to say anything to him. That was the kind of person Dwalin was, in his opinion: a gruff person whose appearance could intimidate almost anyone.

Key word being _almost_.

Apparently Dwalin was all too aware of the effect he had on Silvia since _he _was the one trying to initiate a conversation!

"Would you like to hear a story?"

Now this development surprised Kili as he watched Silvia look over her shoulder at Dwalin, looking as surprised as he felt.

"What kind of story?" She asked, sounding curious.

"Any kind." Was his answer.

"And what is 'any kind' about?"

Kili couldn't stop the laugh that escaped his mouth as everyone else started laughing (even Thorin, surprisingly, who chuckled a bit). He wasn't expecting her to have a bit of wit about her.

Maybe she wouldn't be as boring as he'd originally thought.

"I think it would be best if she knew where we were going and why." Gandalf suggested after the laughter died down. "What do you think, Thorin?"

He could see Thorin turn around on his pony to glance at Silvia as he tried to come to a decision, and Kili knew that his uncle was considering whether or not they should tell her about their quest. Soon he turned back around to face forward.

"Tell her, Dwalin." Thorin answered, making up his mind.

And that was when Dwalin started telling Silvia the tale of Erebor and how Smaug had driven the Longbeards out of their home. It was a story that they were all too familiar with, and Kili could recall the times when Thorin retold it to both he and Fili as a bedtime story when they were younger. And he remembered how he always felt after hearing the tale, how it made him long for grand halls he'd never seen with his own eyes but could only imagine what such a kingdom might look like before the dragon came.

It was almost as if he were hearing the distant call of home every time he heard the tale. Despite how far it was, it was always with them inside their hearts and bones.

And he knew that the soft call wouldn't stop until they had reclaimed the Lonely Mountain.

When Dwalin had finished the familiar story Silvia had expressed her sympathy, showing that she understood why they were one this journey. And then she asked how long it had been since they lost their home.

"Too long." Thorin had answered.

So at that time, Kili could already tell that Silvia was curious by nature.

At least it was a start when it came to trying to figure her out.

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><p>He wanted to get a reaction out of her.<p>

As soon as he found out Silvia was well enough to start helping out around camp, Kili immediately went into the nearby woods with bow in hand, well aware that Bombur planned on making soup tonight. So what was better to go with soup than a couple of rabbits?

True, it took him awhile to find them, but when he did Kili tied both of the dead rabbits' feet to keep them together before making his way back to camp. Upon his return he spotted Silvia right away sitting near the fire sorting a bunch of herbs, completely focused on her task. He grinned, knowing that this was the opportunity he'd been waiting for before wiping the grin from his face and approaching. She didn't seem to hear him approaching at all and when he was close enough Kili placed a hand on her shoulder.

He had to admit he did a good job holding back a laugh as he watched her jump with fright and quickly whipped around to face him, and he got a good look at her frightened blue eyes. It was hard not being amused by her reaction.

"Sorry if I frightened you, Lady Silvia." He apologized, trying his best to look somewhat sheepish. "I thought you might be able to use these for the soup tonight."

Kili held the two rabbits he'd caught out to Silvia and he watched as she carefully took the rabbits from his outstretched hand, a bit disappointed at her reaction (or lack thereof) to the dead animals.

At least he confirmed that she wasn't wearing a wedding band on her left hand.

So she wasn't married.

"Thanks." She said.

Kili did a good job hiding his disappointment behind a smile before walking off. From behind him he could hear Bofur talking to Silvia, telling her how he (apparently) was trying to impress the amnesic lass with the rabbits.

'_Far from it, Bofur._' He thought.

Kili made his way through the camp with the intent of placing his bow with his things.

"Kili!" Upon hearing the familiar voice he turned to find Thorin approaching him. "I want you to tend to the ponies."

With that order from his uncle, he made his way to where the ponies were by the nearby stream. It was as he was tending to one of the ponies that one of them started making some noise, causing him to turn around to find that something must've spooked the equine to put it in such a state. Without thinking Kili tried to calm the panicking pony, but his efforts were in vain when he suddenly found himself being dragged into the stream with the scared animal.

He could hear his uncle yelling his name as Kili struggled to stay above the water, his clothing weighing him down in the rushing current. But he knew that he had to save the pony that had fallen in with him. In his mind, they couldn't afford to lose it since they had paid a good amount of coin for the mount, and he wasn't about to let the pony die.

And yet he was scared.

"Let go, Kili!" He could hear Fili yell.

"The current is too strong, lad!" Thorin yelled. "We're losing him!"

He did his best to stay above the water, but a few times he'd tried to breathe he would find himself accidentally swallowing water instead of air. It didn't help that the water was cold.

He was scared. He was scared of drowning, of leaving his family.

"Kili! I'm coming!"

"Fili! Don't!"

Much to his surprise Kili spotted Fili swimming towards him, all the while struggling against the current before reaching a hand out to him.

"Take my hand!" Fili yelled.

"Fee!" Kili cried out, struggling to reach for his brother's hand.

Only to find himself being pulled under the water by the current.

"Kili!"

As he was pulled under the water Kili could still hear his name being called out, but it started to sound distant. He felt exhausted from his struggles and suddenly everything went dark when he hit his head against something hard.

He wasn't scared anymore.

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><p><em>He remembered this.<em>

_It was a memory from when they were back in Ered Luin, back before they had left for their journey to the Lonely Mountain. He remembered how he'd been hiding around the corner, peeking from behind the curtain as he eavesdropped on Thorin and Fili's conversation, trying to argue their case to convince their uncle to allow them to go as well. He remembered wishing to contribute to the argument, but his brother merely told him that he'd take care of it._

"…_No Fili, this quest will be dangerous." He could hear his uncle say from his hiding spot. "I can't risk taking you both with me."_

"_But Thorin! You've always said this is what we've been waiting for, what we've been preparing for, we're ready now!" Fili argued._

"_You're both still very young, still reckless. I'm afraid if something happens on the journey I won't be…"_

_Thorin trailed off, seeming as if he didn't want to consider the possibility of what could happen to his nephews. Fili noticed this and seemed to come up with an idea before speaking. _

"_Then let me and Kili fight alongside you. Let us look after each other, no matter what happens."_

"_This is not a game, boy!" Thorin yelled._

"_No, it's not! Please uncle! Kili and I will…"_

"_Kili?"_

_Huh? He didn't remember being called, let alone having been discovered eavesdropping._

"_Kili?"_

_There is was again._

_Who was calling him?_

* * *

><p>"<em>Kili? Can you hear us?"<em>

He could hear a voice calling him.

His eyelids felt heavy as he opened them, and he was confused as he found Thorin, Fili, and Bilbo hovering over her with worried expressions.

Why were they worried?

"U…Uncle? Fee?" Kili managed to say, somewhat disoriented.

At this Fili let out a sigh of relief.

"Thank Mahal… I-I thought you'd never wake up!" He said.

"It's all right guys, Kili's fine!" Bilbo's voice suddenly shouted over to somewhere behind him.

And that was when Kili remembered what happened.

He'd almost drowned.

He would've died if he hadn't been saved.

Kili's train of thought was interrupted when Fili suddenly held him in his arms while supporting his upper half, and it was at that time that he became aware of how cold he was as he shivered.

"Are you hurting anywhere?"

"Just…my head…" Kili replied, aware of the fact that his head felt sore.

"Fools! Both of you!"

Kili glanced in the direction his uncle was in and upon seeing the look on his face, he knew that he was livid.

"How many times have I told you this quest was no mere game? Yet you still behave in such a childish and reckless manner!" Thorin yelled. "If the current had indeed swept you away, I would be the one to look like a fool for bringing you two along!"

Whether or not it was Thorin's intention, Kili felt guilty for his actions and looked away.

"I-it was my fault, uncle… I…wasn't paying attention to what was happening at the time…" Kili admitted.

"No, Kili! Don't blame yourself for this!" Fili told him.

"But, Fili!" His hand clutched the sleeve of his brother's coat. "I'm the one who…"

"Enough!" This got both Kili and Fili's attention as they turned their eyes to Thorin as he knelt down close to them. "Next time, both of you listen to what I saw=y, alright? That is all I ask…"

They were taken by surprise when Thorin suddenly pulled them both into a hug as he held them close.

"Uncle? We… We're…" Kili started.

Thankfully Fili managed to pick up where he left off.

"We're sorry, uncle." His brother said.

"Yes, we are."

Kili realized that Thorin hadn't been angry with them, just extremely worried for their safety this whole time. He'd been scared of the possibility of losing his nephews, and he knew that his mother would be upset with their uncle if anything happened to the two of them.

For now they were safe.

* * *

><p>He was cold.<p>

Despite the fact that he'd been stripped down to wearing only his shirt and trousers, along with being tightly wrapped up in a blanket and sitting near the fire, his body was still shivering violently.

At least he understood how the amnesiac lass felt the other day when she came back wearing her soaked dress.

Speaking of Silvia, Kili glanced up and spotted her, along with Bofur, and Gloin, holding up blankets close to the fire, and he couldn't figure out why they were doing that.

What did she think of what happened today?

He decided not to bother with such a question before retreating into his mind, reflecting on what he'd been through as he stared at the ground

He'd almost drowned.

Just that thought scared him to his core.

All because he'd been unable to calm a pony.

Fili sat close to him, but for some reason Kili felt alone.

Maybe coming on this quest was a mistake on his part.

Maybe he should've stayed back in Ered Luin, where it was safe.

Maybe—

His thoughts where interrupted when he felt something warm being wrapped around him. Startled, his head shot up to the person standing before him.

Silvia.

His startled expression dropped as he gazed up at her, and it was as if he were seeing her for the first time. Something about the way the firelight framing around her form like an outline made him feel strange, and as she smiled at him he suddenly felt warm.

Something about her made him feel warm inside, and he didn't understand why.

But to him, he found that she was beautiful.

Wait.

Where did that come from?

Why was he thinking such things?

Despite his confusion, Kili was grateful for the new blanket given to him as he held it tighter around his body, shivering from the warmth it provided. It was pleasantly warm, and he realized why she, Bofur and Gloin had been holding the blankets close to the fire.

Had it been her idea this whole time?

She returned with another blanket, this time for Fili, to which his brother thanked her…for taking care of him first?

Fili had her give him a blanket before himself?

That warm feeling came back, and he felt confused as he continued to watch her.

Eventually the soup that had been cooking was finished and he watched as Silvia helped Bofur pass out bowls to everyone, and his heart skipped a beat as she approached both he and Fili.

"I brought you soup." She told them, carefully handing the bowls of hot soup to them. "It should make you feel better."

He couldn't help but smile at this, and it wasn't lost to him that she must've been worried about them after he'd almost drowned.

"How are you two feeling?"

"Much better, Lady Silvia." Fili replied.

Suddenly Fili hit Kili with his knee, causing him to hiss in pain. Apparently his brother didn't like his lack of response.

"Ah-! Yeah, thanks." Kili added when he recovered.

"The blankets you warmed up were a brilliant idea. Not many would think to do that."

"It wasn't just me." She told them. "I had help from Bofur and Gloin."

"But all the same, thank you."

With that Silvia left them and Kili started eating the soup given to him. Feeling eyes on him, he turned to find Fili giving him a look.

"What?" He asked.

("What was that?")

Kili didn't miss the fact that Fili was choosing to speak in Khuzdul, along with the fact he was whispering as well. He only did that unless he wanted to speak about something private.

("What was what?")

("You know what I'm talking about!") Apparently he didn't know, and Fili noticed this as well. ("You were staring at her.")

Kili had a feeling he knew where this was going.

("I wasn't!") Upon saying this Fili gave him a pointed look. ("So apparently I was. What about it?")

("I think you're developing more than an opinion of Lady Silvia.")

At this Kili turned away and chuckled. This conversation was going exactly where he thought it was.

("Preposterous! Now you're making stuff up!")

("What if I'm not?") At this Kili turned back to Fili. ("How about a little bet between you and me? No need to exchange any coin, just a confession.")

("Assuming there's even a confession to be made. So what's this bet?")

("I bet I can make you jealous if I start giving Lady Silvia some attention tomorrow.")

("Jealous! That's your plan?")

("Yes, and if I manage to make you jealous you have to tell me what's going on in that head of yours.")

Kili thought about this. Him, jealous. Fili was seeing something that wasn't even there at all. This would be an easy bet to win!

("Fine. But it _I _win, you'll have to owe me a favor.") Kili agreed.

("And tell me, little brother, what sort of favor would I owe you?") Fili asked, raising an eyebrow.

("I haven't thought of anything yet, but I'll let you know when I do.")

("Then it's a deal!")

And with that the two brothers shook hands and Kili couldn't help but grin.

He basically had an easy win with this bet!

Him? Jealous?

The idea was absurd!

* * *

><p>ATE: So we got a better idea of what's going through Kili's head with this chapter!<p>

(1) Title Name: I actually chose the name of the title from the song Call of Home by Miracle of Sound, which he did as a fan song for The Hobbit (if you're interested, go check out his video on youtube). There was also a part in this chapter that I made a reference to this song. Also don't own this song.

(2) The Dead Rabbits: Yes, the real reason Kili gave Silvia the rabbits was for a completely different reason than was shown in SWIME.

(3) Spooked Pony: I'll admit that it was difficult for me to figure out what could've spooked the pony in this chapter, but then I eventually decided to leave it open for interpretation.

(4) Kili Drowning and His Dream/Memory: This, along with most of the dialogue was taking from Brilcrist's Hobbit comic on DeviantArt. However I had to chance some of the dialogue a bit since the comic has Kili mention that he should've done a better job of watching the road.

Thanks for reading and please remember to review! ;D


	5. Confession

ATE: It's finally here, everyone! The next chapter of His Thoughts Alone! I'd like to thank **ro781727**, and **FiliandKiliatyourservice15** for their reviews, along with everyone else reading so far. We finally get to see what happens next! Enjoy!

Declaimer: I don't own The Hobbit or LOTR. I only own my OCs.

* * *

><p><span>~*~Chapter 4~*~<br>~*~Confession~*~

He couldn't deny it.

Yet he didn't want to admit it.

But by Mahal he was finding it hard not to hit Fili!

Kili still remembered the bet he made with his older brother last night, but he hadn't expected him to start so soon!

Ever since Silvia woke up that morning Fili had started shamelessly _flirting _with her, even going as far as allowing her to ride with him for today's worth of traveling.

And she accepted!

He should've expected this from Fili, knowing that he wanted to get a confession out of Kili despite the fact that he believed there wasn't anything to confess in the first place. From his place in line (which was behind his brother), he could hear Fili talking with Silvia.

"How's Kili doing?" Silvia asked. "He's feeling better now after what happened yesterday, right?"

He was surprised by this, not at all expecting the amnesiac lass being worried about him. And for some reason it made him feel that warm feeling again, along with his heart doing something weird as well.

Why did he feel this way?

"I've noticed that unlike the other Dwarves he doesn't have much of a beard. Why is that?"

Oh no.

Why did the topic of his beard (or lack of one) have to come up?

And of course Fili had to go ahead and explain!

"We don't know why that is, to be honest. Even as Dwarflings he hadn't had a beard and we all assumed he would have one before reaching maturity, which is at age 40. When that time came, all he had was stubble. We Dwarves take great pride in our beards, so the fact he doesn't have one has put quite a damper on him."

"How so?"

'_It's put a damper on me _because _I've had to live with such humiliation growing up. And it could've been a lot worse if Fili hadn't been around to defend me._' He thought bitterly.

The fact he was royalty protected him from the ridicule and was helpful in its own right, but it didn't stop the rest of the Dwarves in home from talking behind his back.

And one of the rumors that had reached his ears in the past was the possibly of Elvish blood running through his veins and the idea that his mother might've had a secret affair with an Elf that resulted in his birth.

Of all the rumors he'd ever heard, that was the one Kili despised the most, not because it was ridiculous, but because it implied that his mother was unfaithful to his deceased father. And why would she even choose to fraternize with such a race if it was a well-known fact that Dwarves hated Elves?

"What can you tell me about Dwarves?"

"What would you like to know?"

"Anything. Where you live, what you do for a living."

He could hear Fili chuckle from this, and even Kili couldn't help but grin at her curiosity.

"By Mahal! You certainly ask questions covering a large range. You're quite curious for being of the race of Men."

'_You'd be right, Fili. She is curious._' He thought.

"So I've been told."

"Let's start with your first broad question. Dwarves live in a good number of places in this world. The most notable would be the Blue Mountains in Ered Luin and the Iron Hills. As for your second question, we have a wide range when it comes to professions. Some are merchants and toymakers, but we are well known for being miners and crafters."

"What kind of crafts?" She asked.

"Many kinds. From making weapons and armor to making jewelry. We are quite good with our hands when it comes to working with a forge and fire."

"Don't you worry about getting burned?"

"Not at all! That is where we're different from other races. Dwarves are used to temperatures that other races would consider too hot or too cold, which makes crafting hot metal an easy task."

"So that would explain how you're good with your hands."

Kili frowned when he noticed Fili leaning forward closer to Silvia and whispered something into her ear, causing her to tense up. His grip tightened on his reins, realizing that his brother must've implied something…suggestive to her.

Would Fili really go so far as to make him jealous?!

Kili was almost tempted to ride ahead of the two, but stopped himself because he knew if he did that, it'd give away the fact that he was—

'_No! I'm not jealous! I'm not!_' He scolded himself.

But despite how much he told himself that, he knew that he couldn't deny it any longer.

He sighed.

Kili was jealous…

* * *

><p>It was after they set up camp near a cliff that Thorin had Fili and Kili go out to gather firewood. The task itself wasn't something he opposed, but having to do it with his older brother meant that he'd have to talk to him.<p>

Which at this point he really didn't want to do.

Sadly, luck didn't seem to be on his side that day.

"You were jealous." Fili said.

"No, I wasn't!" He lied, picking up a stick he found.

"There's no use denying it at this point, Kee. I could practically feel you glaring daggers into my back today." Fili came around to stand face to face with him. "A deal's a deal, little brother. I would like that confession concerning Lady Silvia."

Kili couldn't stand it.

He knew he was better than this, but something about the way Fili spoke to him made him mad.

"Fine! I have feelings for her!" He suddenly snapped.

Kili's eyes widened at this.

He hadn't meant to say that!

It just came out without a single thought.

He…had feelings for her?

How was that even possible?

"You what?" Fili asked.

"I-I didn't mean to say that!"

'_Did I?_'

"That sounded like a confession!" Fili placed his pile of wood on the ground before placing his hands on his shoulders. "Kili, tell me what you know."

Kili was very hesitant to give his brother an answer. He felt like he'd said too much as it was, but why? This was his brother, the one person he could tell anything to without being judged for what he said or thought.

Should he trust him with his thoughts concerning Silvia?

He sighed, realizing that he really had no other choice in the matter.

"I can't stop thinking about her, ever since she placed that blanket around me last night." He confessed reluctantly. "Something about her makes me feel warm inside and my heart does weird things when she's near."

Fili's blue eyes regarded him after his confession, and he seemed to know something.

And Kili was afraid of what his brother might know.

"You're in love."

Of all the things Fili could've said, he wasn't expecting that.

Not in the least bit.

And it came to him as a shock.

"I can't! I can't be in love!" Kili said quietly, clearly in denial. "Do you realize how ridiculous that sounds? She can't be-!" He stopped himself before he could finish that thought. "I don't know a single thing about her and I haven't known her for that long!"

"But everything you've told me indicates that you are."

"B-But…!" He quickly searched his mind for an excuse. "She's not a Dwarf! She's human!"

"Do you think that kind of excuse works when it comes to matters of the heart?"

"How should I know? It's not like I've had any experience when it comes to Dwarf women!"

"Who said it _had _to be Dwarf women exclusively? Just as long as it's not Elves, you should be fine."

"W-what kind of explanation—"

"We need to return with the firewood we've gathered before the others suspect that something's happened to us, Kili." Fili suddenly said.

Kili couldn't help but stare at his brother. Did he just _change _the subject on him mid-sentence?

He had!

He huffed at this, knowing that Fili had successfully brought the matter concerning Silvia to an end.

For now.

* * *

><p>Kili sat beside Fili near the fire, having been given first watch that night. Earlier his brother had surrendered his bedroll to Silvia for tonight so she could sleep; of course she became concerned for the blonde Dwarf, worried that he'd get cold before he reminded her about what he'd told her about Dwarves that day.<p>

After being told that she'd agreed easily and went to sleep.

Ironically enough, Fili's bedroll was set up close to where they were sitting, and Kili had a feeling that his brother did that on purpose.

He decided to pull out the stick he'd found a few days back, contemplating what he should carve out of it before taking out the small knife he kept in on him. He decided that he could make a wooden pendent or charm to give to his mother when he saw her again, something that she could put on a string or chain and wear around. As he allowed these thoughts to continue, he'd even thought to make an engraving on it as well, maybe some runes or an image. He took the blade of his knife to the wood before he started carving away, doing his best to make it flat.

"Want some?" Fili asked, holding a pouch of tobacco before him.

Kili turned to face his brother and smiled, putting away the piece of wood and knife before pulling out his pipe.

Only to find that he hadn't scrapped the tar out of the bowl from the last time he'd done so.

He'd sighed, knowing he'd have to scrape the stuff out before he could use it and pulled out his scraper.

It was as he was working on scraping the tar out that a screeching sounded through the air, causing him to look up from his work. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Silvia was startled awake by the noise, and he had a feeling that she was looking around in fear.

He wouldn't be surprised by that, considering what made that noise.

"What was that?" Bilbo asked, looking disturbed.

"Orcs." He answered quietly, a grim expression appearing his face.

"Orcs?" The Hobbit ran closer to the fire where he and his brother sat.

"Throat-cutters." Fili stated, holding the pipe he'd been smoking. "There'll be dozens of them out there. The Lone-Lands are crawling with them."

Kili mentally grinned, knowing what Fili was doing since he had the same idea as well.

Why not give the Hobbit a little fright?

And the amnesiac lass was also paying attention, hanging on to every word they spoke.

"They strike in the wee small hours when everyone's asleep." His expression became dark. "Quick and quiet, no screams. Just lots of blood." He whispered the last part ominously.

Seeing the terrified look on Bilbo's face was worth it since what he and Fili had said had done the job. He briefly glanced at Silvia to see that she looked scared as she clutched her blanket close to her chest. He and his brother looked at each other before they started chuckling.

However it was short-lived.

"You think that's funny?" He and Fili looked in the direction of the familiar voice to find Thorin leveling the two brothers with his piercing gaze. "You think a night raid by Orcs is a joke?"

Oh.

They were in trouble.

And he knew that they must've disappointed their uncle.

Especially because they knew his history with Orcs.

"We didn't mean anything by it." He apologized quietly, sounding downhearted.

Despite the fact he apologized, it didn't stop them from feeling guilt and shame for disappointing Thorin.

So much for trying to impress him.

"No, you didn't." Thorin started making his way towards the cliff, passing by Bilbo as he did. "You know nothing of the world."

Thorin was right with that statement, even though there had been times in the past when he and Fili had done some escort jobs to make some money.

"Don't mind him, laddie." Balin said, coming over to where they were. He leaned against the wall of the rock face and gazed down at them with a sympathetic look. "Thorin has more cause than most to hate Orcs."

Kili looked away from Balin to glance over at Thorin, he and Fili knowing exactly what the older Dwarf was referring to.

They knew the story since they had heard it many times back when they were still Dwarflings.

"Why is that?" Silvia asked, her voice breaking the silence.

Balin smiled down at her sadly.

"After the dragon took the Lonely Mountain, King Thror tried to reclaim the ancient Dwarf kingdom of Moria. But our enemy had got there first. Moria had been taken by legions of Orcs, led by the most vile of all their race: Azog the Defiler. The giant Gundabad Orc had sworn to wipe out the line of Durin."

He could hear her gulp loudly, and he had to remind himself that she was hearing this story for the first time and wasn't familiar with it like he and Fili.

"He began…by beheading the king. Thrain, Thorin's father was driven mad by grief. He went missing. Taken prisoner or killed…we did not know. We were leaderless. Defeat and death were upon us. That is when I saw him. A young Dwarf prince facing down the pale Orc. He stood alone against this terrible foe. His armor rent, wielding nothing but an oaken branch as a shield. Azog the Defiler learned that day that the line of Durin would not be so easily broken."

He and Fili turned to face Balin, knowing what came next.

"Our forces rallied and drove the Orcs back. And our enemy had been defeated. But there was no feast nor song that night, for our dead were beyond the count of grief. We few had survived. And I thought to myself then, there is one who I could follow. There is one I could call king."

Apparently it turned out the others had woken up during the story since he spotted them standing, all of them turned to face Thorin before he started making his way past them.

"And the pale Orc? What happened to him?" Bilbo asked.

"He slunk back into the hole whence he came." Thorin answered, walking by. "That filth died of his wounds long ago."

Kili resumed his work on scraping out the tar from the bowl of his pipe, but even though he finished the task he didn't feel like smoking tonight. It was when he glanced up that he spotted Silvia talking with Gandalf, and he wondered what it was she was discussing with the Wizard.

("What do you think they're talking about?") He whispered to Fili, turning to face his brother who was also glancing in her direction.

("Who knows? Maybe she's still spooked after what we said about Orcs.") Fili replied.

Now that he mentioned it Kili remembered that she'd been scared.

And for some reason he felt…horrible.

After all, he'd played a part in causing her to feel the fear she felt currently.

He didn't like it.

Kili noticed the sound of footsteps approaching and he and Fili glanced up in time to see her return, only to reluctantly avert their eyes.

He couldn't stop himself from feeling guilty for scaring her, and yet he couldn't stand to look at her at the moment.

To possibly seeing her blue eyes judge him.

No, he couldn't handle it at the moment.

And he wanted desperately to apologize to her, to somehow make it up to her.

But Kili would have to wait until morning.

* * *

><p>ATE: A jealous Kili and a confession? Who would've thought! So much for winning the bet with his brother.<p>

Anyways, thanks for reading and please remember to review! ;D


	6. A Heartfelt Song

ATE: Well, I managed to finish this chapter finally! I wouldn't gotten it out sooner, but I got distracted by the fact that I get dragged around by my mom and then we tend to lose track of time while out of the house. I'd like to thank **FiliandKiliatyourservice15** and **ro781727** for their reviews, along with everyone else still reading this story. I know that this chapter has been one people have been waiting for, and I'll tell you right now that there is a part in this update that doesn't take place in SWIME (you'll know it when you find it), but I can tell you that it is hinted at in Chapter 6 of the main story. Enjoy!

Declaimer: I don't own The Hobbit or LOTR. I only own my OCs.

* * *

><p><span>~*~Chapter 5~*~<br>~*~A Heartfelt Song~*~

He needed to apologize to her.

That was the thought going through his head when he woke up the next morning, and it nagged at him while he'd been packing up his belongings on his pony.

It was as if the guilt wouldn't leave him alone until he did.

He could hear laughter, causing him to turn around to find that Silvia was awake and the reason for the laughter was her reaction to the axe imbedded in Bifur's head. Understandable, he mused.

"Kee!" He turned around to see Fili standing beside him. "I'm plan on apologizing to Lady Silvia. Want to come?"

At first Kili wanted to jump at the opportunity to apologize to her, but suddenly his mind chose that time to come up with the image of her eyes judging him.

The idea of that stopped him short.

Was he scared?

"No, I can't now." He replied.

"Why do you say that? It's just an apology." Fili said.

"I know that. I feel as if I need to approach this a different way as opposed to simply going up and telling her 'I'm sorry'. But at the same time I don't know how I want to go about it."

Fili stared at him for awhile before speaking.

"Are you scared?"

Kili didn't say anything, but apparently whatever expression that was on his face told his brother everything.

"Don't worry. I'll figure something out for you. For now I need to tend to packing the rest of my belongings."

After Fili walked off he decided he might as well go have breakfast while he could and made his way over to where the others were. As he ate his food he glanced over to where Fili was and saw him talking to Silvia, and he assumed she was returning his brother's bedroll to him. He watched as his brother took ahold of her hand and said a few words before placing a kiss on it, and it was upon seeing this that Kili chose to turn away.

He knew Fili wasn't meaning to, but he was getting jealous again.

'_Don't focus on that._' He told himself. '_Focus on the food you're eating._'

Instead he found himself more or less stirring the porridge in his bowl despite only half of it left. He didn't like the fact he was acting this way; he knew better, but it seemed today was getting to him. And above all that he still hadn't figured out how he was going to apologize to Silvia.

"So I apologized to her." Fili said before sitting down next to him with his own bowl of porridge. "Now it's just a matter of you doing to same."

Kili turned to look at his brother and frowned.

"And how do you expect me to go about it, Fee?" He asked.

"Well, you could offer her to ride with you today for starters. I'm sure you could figure it out from there."

"And what if she says 'no' to my offer, as well as an apology from me?"

"She has a kind heart, Kili. She knows we didn't mean to do what we did last night, and if she was able to forgive me, then it's suffice to say that she'll forgive you as well."

Maybe Fili had a point, he reckoned. Maybe she would accept his offer to ride with him and forgive him if he apologized.

Just maybe…

"Although, I think she'll be less inclined to forgive you if you don't finish your porridge." Fili suddenly said. "Are you going to finish it or will I have to force feed you until it's gone?"

Kili couldn't help but laugh at this and soon Fili joined in as well. He knew that his brother _would _actually force feed him if it ever came down to it.

Out of the corner of his eye he spotted Silvia joining them for breakfast, and while she ate she took the time to talk with Ori, Nori, Dori, and Gloin. While she talked to the red haired Dwarf, Kili couldn't help but feel somewhat disheartened as he heard the topic the two were talking about.

Gloin's family.

He was happy that Gloin was one of the Dwarves he knew that had a family, but he couldn't help but be somewhat envious of him (despite he and Fili being good friends with Gimli, who was only 62). He dreamed of one day having a family of his own, but seeing as he couldn't seem to attract any Dwarf women (due to his appearance) it was very unlikely he'd ever have one. Unless…

'_No, she's can't be an option!_' He thought, not wanting to entertain the notion.

After breakfast he found Silvia helping to pick up the remaining possessions needing to still be pack and knew that this was his chance to ask her to ride with him. He approached her, noticing that she didn't hear him, before placing a hand on her shoulder. As a result she turned around to look at him, not seeming startled in the slightest bit.

Strange.

"At least this time you didn't startle so easily." He said, his dark brown eyes sparkling in amusement.

He watched as she smiled, and he had a feeling she was reminded of the first time they interacted the other day.

"Good morning, Kili." She greeted.

She remembered his name. Something about that fact made him…happy.

"Aye, a good morning to you as well, Lady Silvia." He gave her a smile in return. "So, I was wondering…"

Kili trailed off, having suddenly forgotten how he wanted to go about asking her. He'd know what he'd wanted to say before approaching her, but somehow he was at a loss for words.

Why?

Was he nervous?

He lowered his gaze to the ground as he thought, wanting to at least make a decent impression on the amnesiac lass, but apparently he wasn't doing well. He sighed, deciding that he might as well start over.

"Let me try again." He told her before his eyes returned to settle on her face, noticing the curiosity that showed. "I was wondering if you'd like to ride with me today."

At first he was anxious that she'd turn down his offer, but then she smiled at him.

"I would love to." She replied.

She accepted?

His heart skipped a beat.

She did!

"Oh, good!" He sighed in relief. "For a second I thought you would've said no."

"Why would I do that?" Silvia frowned.

"Because-" He stopped himself.

Because he feared the possibility of being rejected.

'_No, she didn't reject you in any way. She accepted your offer, remember?_' He told himself.

He gave her a smile before speaking again.

"Never mind."

He suddenly walked off, having the feeling she would've questioned him if he hadn't. He was already confused enough as it was concerning his thoughts alone, and there wasn't a need to reveal them to her at all.

* * *

><p>He waited by his pony for Silvia as it got closer to the time for the Company to depart, and as he did so he found that he thought about her.<p>

Why couldn't he stop thinking about her?

What if Fili was right about him being in love—?

No.

He'd already admitted to being jealous yesterday, but he wasn't going to admit that he had those kinds of feelings.

He refused to acknowledge that.

He saw movement out of the corner of his eye and when he turned he saw Silvia approaching. He gave her what he hoped was a charming smile to make her feel welcomed when on the inside he was nervous about this arrangement (despite the fact he'd been the one to offer her a ride). Without a word he'd helped her onto the pony before getting on behind her.

"I'm not heavy, am I?" She asked, lowering her gaze.

"Not at all. Despite our size Dwarves have more strength than other races." He answered.

True that Dwarves were stronger than the other races in Middle Earth, he'd been surprised by how light she was. Was it normal for humans to be so light for her age and height?

Silvia was quiet as they traveled the road, though he was quiet as well since he was trying to figure out how to apologize to her. Maybe he should keep it simple.

Simple sounded like the way to go.

"I…wanted to apologize about last night." He suddenly said.

Silvia turned around and he found her gazing at him with her blue eyes. He was worried that she wouldn't accept his apology, but then she gave him a warm smile as if she were trying to make him feel better.

And surprisingly enough it did.

"It's okay. I'm fine now." She said before turning to look ahead, only to whisper her next words. "I'm not afraid anymore."

She wasn't afraid anymore?

What had changed to make her feel that way?

"Why do you say that?" He asked after a while.

"Because I have you and Fili and everyone else here with me. And I know that you're all capable of keeping me safe."

His heart did something strange upon hearing those words. He knew they were capable of keeping her safe, but did she truly put that much trust in him as well? He didn't detect anything false in her words, and knowing she was being truthful made them sound all the more heartfelt.

He suddenly found himself leaning forward slightly, bringing his head next to hers to whisper his next words.

"I was told of your kind heart, Lady Silvia." Kili whispered quietly in her ear. "If you seek protection you needn't ask. I and everyone here would do almost anything to keep you safe."

He hadn't realized how close he was to her until she turned her head to look at him, and it wasn't until he felt her cheek brush against his stubble and lips that he realized this fact. She must've realized it too since she quickly turned away, and he felt his face get warm as he leaned away from her.

He thought a change of subject would be needed to get over this awkwardness.

"So what can you tell me about yourself, Lady Silvia?" Kili asked.

Though he did it as a way to keep things from getting awkward, he was curious about her as he realized he didn't really know anything about her.

"Not much. All I know is my name, that I'm 18, and have some knowledge of how to cook if not what I've learned so far." She told him.

"Oh. I almost forgot you had amnesia."

He felt somewhat stupid for momentarily forgetting that she didn't know much about herself, though he did remember how young she was in comparison to them.

"It's fine." She replied. "So Thorin is yours and Fili's uncle?"

"Aye, he is. And we are his heirs."

"So that means you two are princes then?"

He chuckled at this. She really was curious if she was asking him such questions.

"You wouldn't be wrong. But seeing as Fili is older than I am, he'd be first in line if anything happened to Thorin."

"How old is Fili?"

"He's 82."

"And you?"

"I'm 77."

"You two don't look that old."

'_Well, you look as if you should be 36, but then again you're not a Dwarf._' He mused.

"Dwarves age differently than what you're used to. You're quite young in comparison to everyone present."

Silvia nodded her head and he had a feeling that she didn't really know how to respond to his statement. That was fine and he wouldn't judge her for it.

Kili hadn't realized how deep in thought he'd been until he suddenly found himself drenched in rainwater, and he could hear some of the others complaining about it. He could feel Silvia shivering and saw how her dress was clinging to her like a second skin, and he could only imagine how cold she was at the moment.

Without thinking he wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close to him for warmth while doing the best he could to wrap his cloak around the both of them before securing his arm around her waist to keep in her place.

It was only until then that he realized what he'd done and his face got warm. This was the closest she'd ever been to him and he was worried that she could feel his heart racing.

Why was he having such reactions?

He couldn't take his actions back now for fear of looking suspicious so he kept her close.

He leaned forward slightly.

"I know it isn't much, but it'll keep you warm for the most part." He quietly told her.

"Thank you." She replied before he felt her shivering. "It's cold."

At this he slightly tightened his hold around her in hopes of keeping her warmer, however he hadn't meant to trap her like he did. But at the moment his main concern was to keep her warm and that was what he planned on doing.

"I know, lass. I know." He murmured thoughtfully.

Whether or not she was aware of it, he was surprised when she snuggled close to him despite his clothes being soaked through. But he'd let her get away with it since the cold rain wasn't doing her any favors. And it wouldn't do her any good if she got sick.

Why was he suddenly concerned for her wellbeing?

"Here, Mr. Gandalf…can't you do something about this deluge?" He heard Dori yell over the rain.

"It is raining, Master Dwarf, and it will continue to rain until the rain is done." Came Gandalf's reply. "If you wish to change the weather of the world, find yourself another Wizard."

Well wasn't that something? A Wizard that couldn't change the weather. Maybe it wasn't exactly Gandalf's area of expertise.

"Are there any?" Bilbo asked.

"What?"

"Other Wizards."

"There are five of us. The greatest of our order is Saruman the White. Then there are the two Blue Wizards…" Gandalf trailed off thinking for a bit. "Do you know, I've quite forgotten their names."

He heard Silvia giggle, probably finding Gandalf forgetting funny. Then again he couldn't blame her.

"And who is the fifth?"

"Well, that would be Radagast the Brown."

"Is he a great Wizard? Or is he…more like you?"

Kili saw Gandalf look behind him at Bilbo, and he could only assume that the Hobbit had offended him.

"I think he's a very great Wizard, in his own way. He's a gentle soul who prefers the company of animals to others. He keeps a watchful eye over the vast forest lands to the east. And a good thing too. For always evil will look to find a foothold in this world."

After an hour or so the rain eventually stopped, but even though that was the case Kili found that he didn't want to let go of Silvia, which confused him greatly. No matter how hard he tried to convince himself he couldn't bring himself to release her from his hold.

Maybe he could use the excuse that he was still trying to warm her up since she was still cold.

Yeah, that sounded like a plan!

Kili could hear the other Dwarves starting to hum and soon joined in, knowing that Thorin was going to sing, eventually with the rest of them singing with him as well.

_Far over the misty mountains cold  
>To dungeons deep and caverns old<br>We must away ere break of day  
>To seek the pale enchanted gold.<em>

_The dwarves of yore made mighty spells,_  
><em>While hammers fell like ringing bells<em>  
><em>In places deep, where dark things sleep,<em>  
><em>In hollow halls beneath the fells.<em>

_For ancient king and elvish lord_  
><em>There many a gleaming golden hoard<em>  
><em>They shaped and wrought, and light they caught<em>  
><em>To hide in gems on hilt of sword.<em>

_On silver necklaces they strung_  
><em>The flowering stars, on crowns they hung<em>  
><em>The dragon-fire, in twisted wire<em>  
><em>They meshed the light of moon and sun.<em>

_Far over the misty mountains cold_  
><em>To dungeons deep and caverns old<em>  
><em>We must away, ere break of day,<em>  
><em>To claim our long-forgotten gold.<em>

_Goblets they carved there for themselves_  
><em>And harps of gold; where no man delves<em>  
><em>There lay they long, and many a song<em>  
><em>Was sung unheard by men or elves.<em>

_The pines were roaring on the height,_  
><em>The winds were moaning in the night.<em>  
><em>The fire was red, it flaming spread;<em>  
><em>The trees like torches blazed with light.<em>

_The bells were ringing in the dale_  
><em>And men they looked up with faces pale;<em>  
><em>The dragon's ire more fierce than fire<em>  
><em>Laid low their towers and houses frail.<em>

_The mountain smoked beneath the moon;_  
><em>The dwarves they heard the tramp of doom.<em>  
><em>They fled their hall to dying fall<em>  
><em>Beneath his feet, beneath the moon.<em>

_Far over the misty mountains grim_  
><em>To dungeons deep and caverns dim<em>  
><em>We must away, ere break of day,<em>  
><em>To win our harps and gold from him!<em>

As they had been singing he'd felt Silvia relax against him, much to his amusement when he found that she was trying to fight off the urge to fall asleep. Maybe she knew some songs, assuming she could remember any.

It was worth a try.

"Do you know any songs, Lady Silvia?" Kili suddenly asked.

He watched as Silvia seemed to become aware of her surrounding, as well as the other having turned around to gaze at her expectedly for her answer. She was quiet as a thoughtful expression crossed her face, almost as if she were searching her mind for a song she could remember.

"I think I know one." She told them.

"Well, let's hear it!" Bofur exclaimed, the rest of the Dwarves voicing their thoughts in agreement.

He had a feeling Silvia was blushing from all the attention she was getting, but eventually she started singing.

He hadn't expected the voice that reached his ears.

_Lay down your head and I'll sing you a lullaby  
><em>_Back to the years of loo-li lai-lay  
><em>_And I'll sing you to sleep and I'll sing you tomorrow  
><em>_Bless you with love for the road that you go_

_May you sail far to the far fields of fortune  
><em>_With diamonds and pearls at your head and your feet  
><em>_And may you need never to banish misfortune  
><em>_May you find kindness in all that you meet_

_May there always be angels to watch over you  
><em>_To guide you each step of the way  
><em>_To guard you and keep you safe from all harm  
><em>_Loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay_

He noticed how she started trembling slightly before he heard a sniffle.

Was she crying?

_May you bring love and may you bring happiness  
><em>_Be loved in return to the end of your days  
><em>_Now fall off to sleep, I'm not meaning to keep you  
><em>_I'll just sit for a while and sing loo-li, lai-lay_

_May there always be angels to watch over you  
><em>_To guide you each step of the way  
><em>_To guard you and keep you safe from all harm  
><em>_Loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay_

_Loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay..._

Everyone was quiet when she finished her song and he knew that she was crying by how her voice had sounded near the end. It was as if the song had an effect on her seeing as she was emotional, and he wondered what thoughts were going through her head at the time.

His heart did something weird as hearing her cry and he found that he didn't like it. He didn't like that she was sad.

Looking around at her face he lifted up a hand and he felt her go tense as he gently wiped away her tears, but then he heard her choking on her tears. He took this time to lean his head close to her ear.

"That was a beautiful song." He whispered to her, hoping to make her feel better. "You will always have angels watching over you."

Apparently more tears formed in her eyes that she tried to hold back, but she was unsuccessful since she silently cried.

"It's fine to cry, Lady Silvia. There's no shame in doing so." He continued. "You might not remember where you're from, but I wouldn't doubt you're far from home at this time. Take solace in the fact that you're safe and that someday you might regain your memories."

After awhile Silvia stopped crying and her body relaxed. At first he was worried as to why, but when he found out that she'd fallen asleep he couldn't help the sad smile that appeared on his face. It was possible that during the song she'd somehow remembered something on an unconscious level.

There was no denying it.

Maybe he was in love with her.

* * *

><p>The Company had come across the remains of a wooden house that looked as if it were falling apart before Thorin stopped.<p>

"We'll camp here for the night." He declared. "Fili, Kili, look after the ponies. Make sure you stay with them. Oin, Gloin, get a fire going."

At that time Kili noticed that Gandalf was wandering around inside the ruined house before Thorin started talking to the Wizard. However things seemed to take a turn for the worse when it looked like the two had disagreed on something before Gandalf walked away and towards their direction.

"Everything all right?" Bilbo asked. "Gandalf, where are you going?"

"To seek the company of the only one around here who's got any sense." Gandalf replied, walking past the Hobbit and the rest of them.

"And who's that?"

"Myself, Mr. Baggins." The Wizard yelled. "I've had enough of Dwarves for one day."

Kili could see the almost annoyed look on Gandalf's face as he passed his location, and he had a feeling that they were going to regret it.

"Come on, Bombur, we're hungry." Thorin said.

Though he and his brother knew the task that was assigned to them, Kili first had to attend to Lady Silvia who was still asleep from her crying. With some help from Fili he was able to climb down from his pony before retrieving the sleeping lass, holding her close as he followed his brother to a spot to set up their bedrolls. Fili helped him set up his bedroll, but it was when the blanket was set up that Kili glanced down at Silvia and realized that her dress was still damp from the rain earlier.

He knew what he had to do.

"Fili, hold her for a moment." He said.

Fili complied as he took over supporting her upper half as he knelt down and Kili took this time to take off his cloak. His brother seemed to catch on to what he was doing since he brought Silvia closer to him so that he could wrap his cloak around her to keep her warm. Satisfied with his work Kili carefully placed her on his bedroll before placing his blanket over her sleeping form.

"Kili, I'll go ahead and take care of the ponies." Fili told him, causing him to turn around. "Just come over when you're ready."

He watched as Fili walked away before turning back to gaze down at Silvia and he noticed how peaceful she looked despite having cried herself to sleep earlier. He knew that the others were worried about her ever since the song she sang to them.

Why did he find himself drawn to her?

Why did he care about her wellbeing as much as he did?

Why did he care whether or not she was happy or sad?

He didn't understand why she made him feel all these things and he wished he knew.

He sighed, knowing that he had to attend to the ponies with Fili.

Kili was about to get up from his kneeling position when something grabbed his left hand, causing him to turn his head in the direction it came from. He was surprised to find Silvia awake and that it had been her small hand that had grabbed his larger one, clutching desperately to him as if afraid of something. Even the look on her face shared the same sentiment.

"Don't go…" She pleaded quietly.

"I have to go, Lady Silvia." He told her. "I have to look after the ponies."

"But I'm scared."

This stopped him as he gazed at her face. He didn't like the fear he saw in her eyes, and he couldn't help but suddenly feel protective of her. He felt the need to ward away any fears she had, but he knew he couldn't stay the whole time.

Maybe a small compromise was in order

"I know you're scared, but you have no reason to be. I promise to keep you safe from whatever will harm or scare you in this world." He swore. "I can't stay for long, but I will stay long enough for you to fall asleep."

"Promise?"

Kili couldn't help the small smile that appeared on his face upon hearing how innocent she sounded. For all intents and purposes she definitely was.

"I promise. Now get some rest, Lady Silvia."

He watched as Silvia's eyes closed and her hold on his hand loosened up as the minutes passed before she finally fell asleep again. With her now asleep Kili was able to pull his hand away from her and gently tucked it underneath the blanket covering her before getting up.

It was as he was making his way to where Fili and the ponies were located that he admitted a few things to himself.

He was too invested in his feeling concerning Silvia.

He found that he cared about her wellbeing.

And he couldn't deny the possibility of being in love with her.

* * *

><p>ATE: Well, that's it for now. We now know that Kili is coming to terms with some things. Next chapter we'll be seeing trouble with Trolls and all the stuff that comes along with it.<p>

Thanks for reading and please remember to review! ;D


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